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If you think this is going to be a cute post about baby giraffes, go ahead and leave the site, because you’re going to be highly disappointed.  Hell, you might be disappointed after reading this.  Anyways…. like I was saying, me and baby giraffes have one thing in common.  We can go ahead and rule out the 5 foot drop from the V slide.  We can also rule out long legs.  What I’m talking about is the stagger they have for about five minutes after birth trying to figure out how to walk.  That mental picture is what I look...

Dear Target, I hate that our relationship has come to this, but we need to talk. Listen, 90% of our relationship is great and I wouldn't change a thing. Like the $3 bins at the entrance for example. I appreciate that they allow me to feel like a great mom by offering my child a glitter ball that has a floating penguin in it for the low, low price of just another useless toy in my junk drawer I'll find five years from now while searching for AA batteries. It also allows me to successfully navigate your oversized baskets full of...

Just hear me out parents and non parents (enjoy this precious quiet time millennials- your time will come).... We are super fortunate to have a lovely lady (who we call kitty kat, which is totally inappropriate on so many levels) who watches Maximus. I knew once we got pregnant that I wanted someone to watch M the first year so I could be with him whenever and still run my business. We also knew that after a year we wanted to enroll him in preschool (which let's be honest is a learning daycare)... I mean, I'm a child of the...

I've had tons of people say I'm a badass or they just don't know how I do it all... The truth is, I have a village of people that support me and I don't have it all together. These comments made me think that Instagram and Facebook are like Spanks... On the surface, everything looks perfect and smooth, however, under those tight stockings, there are things that just shouldn't be seen by the public. It's like when I wake up in the morning or before I go to bed, I look like a 13 year old gangster going through puberty....